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THE PORN KING



The trip was great; sort of like being on vacation but getting paid to work too. Still, as you know, dear reader, it's always best to get back home. The trip was easy but long. After a great cookout with our soundman Sal (we cooked Matt's Salmon), we left 'Koots early for the airport, and as is my fashion, two blocks into the ride, I remembered I forgot my Lucky Brand jacket at the band house. Not a big deal, but if you know Geoff, you know he doesn't like unplanned activity- he likes to be straight up and on time. On the way back to the house, I looked back into the van and could see him laying across the seat- just quietly with his eyes closed. What was he thinking about? What was he thinking about ME? Oh no. We'll never know for sure!

Airport check in was long but smooth- lots of excess baggage charges. If the airline was really smart, they would have also charged for all of the emotional baggage we picked up in AK! The counter agent commented to the band how she could smell pot simply by looking at us. Imagine that...

As we boarded the plane, Geoff and Ryan were a few people ahead of us in the jetway, when Matt and I noticed a very strong sewage stink in the jetway. Matt commented that it likely had something to do with Geoff, Haha. YaKnow, if you fart while on the plane, you'll certainly affect a handful of people around you, but Geoff was kind enough to unload right in the jetway so the ENTIRE plane could enjoy the experience while boarding. I wondered why he was laughing when we met at our seats...

Alright, enough potty humor; I've tried to keep this blog classy so far, sorry.

Upon arriving in PHX, I was shocked and surprised my my Mom and sister Lindy waiting for me outside of the checkpoint. Wow! Lindy had an EastonAshe jersey on too. As usually Geoff was walking ahead of us, and because he didn't know my family, was surprised at the chance that a stranger was wearing our shirt!

Ok, Finally, here are some Photos with quick captions from the course of our trip! Sorry it took so long!


EastonAshe! Jason, Geoff, Ryan Matt

A shot with our "REAL" Soundman, Erik Schmitz (at left)

On the RV heading to Homer for our fishing trip



Above: Some photos at Portage Glacier (in the distance)
Below: Fishing in the ocean near Homer, AK




Our Big Catch! Halibut!

Irish Lord...It's what's for dinner. NOT! This little beauty puked all over the deck as you can see.

The Leader of the Band

The Leader of the Movement (Bowel Movement)

JUDI-GRAS!! Note the smoking Teletubby...


An intimate moment between Tinky Winky and "The Dude" ("This aggression will not stand...man")!

HEY KIDS!!

Badass JasonBass

Isn't he cute?


Author at Alyeska-A nice resort in Girdwood, about an hour from Anchorage-Ride the tram up then climb up to the mountaintop glacier.


Chester with his molester van

Matt and our good musician friend Bart, doing what we did best in AK! Bart plays in another 'Koots band and bartends. Amazing player and great guy.

After sushi with the 'Koots gang

Doran is in the blue shirt- excellent manager of Chilkoots and great friend of the band.


Mike Gordon is in the leather jacket-Owner of Chilkoots and big fan of the band. He has climbed nearly every major mountain in the world and has an amazing collection of Soviet memorabilia on display at 'Koots as well as an extensive private art collection-Thanks Mike!




Finally, a couple of pics of us doing what we LOVE MOST!

That concludes the EastonAshe Alaska Blog! Thanks for keeping up with us and your support. We truly love you and are glad to be back!

Matt's Fish!!

Here's a photo of Matt taken a few weeks ago down in Homer, where we went fishing. Little by little I'll add some pics to this blog, but likely not many until I get home and hook up my own camera (forgot the cable, remember?)

The guys got back from their fishing weekend in time for Tuesday's show. Ryan showed us some photos he took of a glacier he was exploring, including an ice cave he found. Of course, it's not good enough to see it- for Ryan, he has to climb into it for a first hand look. I guess it was ok, 'cause he lived to make it home.

Matt and Geoff went south and did some fishing too. As I heard the story, someone got their line/lure hooked on a stump on the opposite bank of the river, so our tough mountain man Geoff volunteered to wade across the water to retrieve the line. As he waded out (in his waist high waders), he stepped into an unseen sink hole and immediately sank up to his collar bone. I'll bet that water was icy, eh? Naturally, his boots filled up with water, making him that much more heavy, but was fortunately able to get himself out of it, albeit with a wet wallet and yet another drenched cell phone. He drowned more cell phones in the last few months! I think this one is still working- it's as miraculous as it is that Geoff is still working too. He enjoys telling the story with a laugh, but I (and his mother) are not so amused! Damn kids!

Matt caught a beautiful silver salmon that we're going to be eating tomorrow. He sent me a photo of it:


Have a beautiful day; more soon!

Alone in Anchorage, Watching Spikey

Everybody has left town for our weekend (sunday/monday) except me. Ryan went north with the sound engineer and his family, while Matt and Geoff went south with our musician friend Bart. I just couldn't handle the prospect of another 8 hour (roundtrip) drive just for the weekend, so I opted to stay put here in Anchorage. Of course, now I'm sorry (sort of,...not really) 'cause I don't have a car till tuesday! But I think I'll rent one tomorrow for a day and do some lonesome sightseeing of my own. As you might know, I'm sort of the quiet one, and like doing my own thing as much as I love hanging out with the boys. As you know, we've had some good parties and adventures while here, but I think this weekend is detox for all! None of us were doing much drinking last night at the show, which is good for a change.

Last night, after the show ended at 3am, I got a bug in my head to go out on the town to see what was going on. I'd heard that there were two bars that stayed open for after hours until about 6am, so being adventurous I decided it was time to check it out. I arrived at the "kodiak" downtown a little after 3, and there was a long line out of the place onto the sidewalk. So I waited and eventually got in after about 15 mins. Turns out this is a mixed gay/straight club with a small cafe in it, but mostly it's just a big dance floor. There were guys and gals of all types dancing right on the bar, as well as a couple of interchanging pole dancers. MY KIND OF PLACE! HaHa! Within a few minutes, I was recognized by a couple of people as the guy from the band! it's so hard to be POP*U*LAR!!!

On our nights off at 'Koots, they have a DJ on our stage and there's often a group of native guys and girls there dancing. I remember one of the guys because of his bleached spikey hair. Didn't think much of it, until last night at the Kodiak bar when all of a sudden there he was-- pole dancing. Same dude. Well, I only bring this up because he was the most athletic pole dancer I think I've ever seen. Starting at the bottom, he slings himself around like a snake, then scales that sucker upside down, all the way to the top, then slinkies back down- Very gracefully, I might add. Clearly someone like this HAS to have a practice pole, eh-hem, at home!

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Last night's gig was pretty much the controlled chaos of Saturday nights past. Oddly, the first set was weird as the crowd was VERY quiet with hardly any applause or anything. On the other hand, the room was pretty crowded and the people were watching us perform more than they were in a dancing or partying mood. After hearing the crickets after one of our harder songs, I said to the crowd "come on, godammit, we nailed that tune!!" To which Ryan added, "this is the best Tuesday night we've ever played here!" (it was Saturday!) and then sternly ordered everyone to get their fucking ass to the bar and drink a shot. Well, now you see the secret as to why EastonAshe is SO popular with our audiences! We treat them like shit and they LUV us! Haha!

Of course, by the third set, the whole house is pretty much shit-faced and then the drunk chicks start climbing onto the stage and shakin' it. Ryan loves this, as long as they're hot! My problem is that I'm the big guy on the end slinging the long neck of by Bongo Bass all around, as is my fashion. Sooner or later I always seem to end up clocking one of these poor girls right in the head with the tuning keys of the bass! Sorry! (NOT).

One night, some girl jumped up and was dancing/hanging on Matt while he was playing and he was trying to get her to move out of the way, so he told her to go up on the drum riser and dance next to Geoff. She took one look up there at our hunky drummer and gave him the biggest "poo-poo/NOTHANKS" face I've ever seen! POOR GEOFF! Took him several days to get over that one. Ladies back home, remember to give Geoff some extra lovin' when he gets back to AZ, OKAY?

Finally, during the last set of the night (last night), we were jamming hard on some loud tune, the crowd was jumping up and down and raising hell, when all of a sudden this cute, funky girl falls...no, tumbles....umm, no...FLOPS face first onto the stage right at my feet. OUT COLD! Jesus Christ, I was really worried, and looked around for security, but after a few seconds a couple of people scooped her up and took her away- I'm assuming she was OK- just another night at the office for me.

Okay, well, back to my respite for a day or so. Thanks for reading- more soon!

Famous Last Words

General Custer: "This shouldn't take but half a day"

Titanic: "She's unsinkable"

Ryan Sims: "Is the sound quality shitty tonight?"

As musicians, we've trained our ears to distinguish very subtle changes in tone and timbre of instruments, vocals, speakers, etc. We have favorite venues in which to play because the acoustics or "sound" of a room. Our sound engineer, Erik Schmitz knows us so well and is always able to fine tune our sound at each gig. Up here at 'Koots, they have a "house" sound system with two different engineers. One tends to be very heavy on the bass frequencies which I actually don't like because it get so damn BOOMY, while the other guy tends to put our vocals first, which is more appropriate for EastonAshe.

Well, anyway, I hadn't noticed any change in the sound last night; it certainly didn't seem shitty, but during our first song, Ryan was definitely hearing something in his ears. I told him it was fine to me. So we started playing the second song, "I am the Walrus" (our fav) and half way through the song I noticed that Ryan had stopped singing all together- I looked over at him and realized that his monitor speaker (next to his feet) had spontaneously burst into flames! Not just smoke and mirrors, but big, orange, shooting flames. He spoke into the microphone, trying not to set his pants on fire, and said "we never stop a song, but I think this would be a good time!" Just the same, the rest of us kept the beat going (seemed appropriate to have some kind of soundtrack for this unfolding drama) for the next minute or so (it seemed like an eternity) as quick thinking Ryan wisely unplugged the speaker, dumped a bottle of water on it, (which didn't quite douse it), and then kicked it off the stage (where someone on staff hit it with a fire extinguisher), like true professionals, we picked up the song in mid stream and finished it out.

Well, we had a good laugh about it, but let me tell, you, I was ready to head for that side door any second (remember George Costanza in Seinfeld-where he knocks all the little kids and old ladies out of the way when the fire started?)! And on a serious note, we all remember the terrible night club fire in Rhode Island a few years ago....

Aside from this, the night was great fun and we saw a friend from Harold's in Cave Creek at the show last night as well. It's so amazing to have a little connection to home like that.

I think we're all about ready to wrap things up next week and get back home. It's absolutely awesome up here, but you know how it goes; it's nice to travel but always good to get home too. Six more shows to go, and then we pack it up!

We've learned a couple of new songs up here, but of course our good intentions of practicing on our off hours went out the window as soon as we settled into partying late, sleeping late, and sight-seeing on days off. Matt and I have begun a routine of sampling gin and tonics in the afternoon, then sleeping it off by showtime! What a couple of slackers. Well, anyway, we promise to come home with at least one new original and a very cool cover by The Who! Maybe even more if I can make it through detox! Ha!

Okay, thanks for checking in- More soon!

Sleeping late and more about Ryan

Good Morning- It's 230pm and we're all just getting up. This is the typical life up here. The band plays until 215am during the week and til 245 on the weekends. As you can imagine, we get pretty fired up during the show and it usually takes a while to calm down after getting home. Sometimes we'll party a little (though I'm more likely to go home and hide out), or a 'Koots staff member might stop by for a visit, or we might just watch tv. Needless to say, if we get to sleep by 4am, we're doing well. When I joined EA in April, I figured I would lead a healthy life style by going to bed right after a gig and be up by 9 or 10 to enjoy the day and do other stuff- the guys laughed and said "yeah right". Well, now I've finally adjusted to the Rock n roll lifestyle and have forgotten what the mornings are like!

Yesterday, Matt and I went over to the "Mooses Tooth", which is a restaurant and movie cinema across the way to see "Iron Man". This place is great because you can order food and booze to enjoy while watching the movie each row has a tables in front of you and some areas even have booths. If you're underage, you go up to the balcony. Matt bought a round of Margaritas and we worked on those during the show. It was a good time- I was feeling a little EA fatigue yesterday, and Matt's one of those guys who is just a calm and quiet person that you can simply hang out with. The tequila helped too. Thanks Matty!

One of our good friends/fans from Phoenix flew up last night for a few days. It's great to see some familiar faces again.

I'm not much into ice cream, but I do really like the ice cream sandwiches. Y'know "brown cracker/ice cream/brown cracker"? My sweet housemate Geoff bought me a box the other day and they're so good. Thanks Geoff, but you're also weird! He doesn't like to handle these ice cream sandwiches because, as you know, sometimes the brown cracker part sticks to your fingers...well, for some reason, he CAN'T STAND THAT, so he eats the paper wrapping too. Doesn't unwrap it at all, just eats the whole thing. I just about freaked!

Ryan got wind of my story of the diagonal couch/lazy tv watching! Uh-oh! I know he doesn't do computer stuff much, so I thought I was safe. I guess someone tipped him off to us making fun of him and his neck cozy (thanks LIZ!! :)). Well, after making me play a few songs last night that I hardly knew, all was even. But to make up for it, let me also say some good things about the poor guy! Ryan's been great with the audience, as usual, is a great front man and does his absolute best to keep me hip and in the loop (or is it hip replacement?). One of the funniest things he does while we're up on stage jamming is come over to my ear and commenting on some of the interesting people in the crowd. Believe me, in AK, there are some pretty colorful characters. Conversations like this are common in bands, buy Ryan is very quick and funny with his. I can't repeat them here of course, but beware the wit of Ryan! He's almost always in a good mood, is quick to buy you a drink or give you encouragement. And how many guys do you know that can play 7 shows a week for most of the year? Only the guys in EastonAshe! Yay!! Rock on Brother!

Hunks and Ryan's Neck Pillow

We start our third week of shows here at Koots tonight. It's been alot of fun so far and we're all getting along great- as usual. We always seem to have some good laughs at each other's expense- like any band, it's usually mixed personalities (or multiple personalities in some cases!) and fortunately for EastonAshe, we have more fun with each other than we do issues. Geoff and I are mostly the type to come home after the show to relax, while Ryan and Matt like a more social life. Nonetheless, nobody gets to bed before 4am, and sometimes later. The people we meet up here are generally good to hang out with as well.

Yesterday, I was dropping the car keys off at Ryan and Matt's place and when I walked in, nobody was home except one of the bartenders from Koots laying flat on the couch, watching tv. I guess he had a few drinks after the early shift and didn't quite make it home!

The American Hunks Revue went on last weekend, and of course, being a worldly guy, I had to check it out (the other guys did too, but with much more shame and embarassement-but somehow they couldn't look away either!). The hunks were hunky and the women screaming as they stripped from firefighters, private eyes, and prisoners down to their "well-stuffed" schlong thongs. Unlike at a strip club, where a man would be beating down in the parking lot for merely touching a girl, this is an "all hands" show, where the studs park a few girls on stage and then let them paw all over them. The best guy, Jason, whom I mentioned last week, was the best and put these crazy girls into some of the oddest positions i've seen. One was a slightly large woman on stage that he sat on his lap and then dumped her upside down between his legs, etc, etc. Well, this poor girl's skirt went the way of gravity, exposing her large lady bloomer undies with her legs sticking straight up to the ceiling! Real sexy! Then as the show was wrapping up, he went to another larger girl in the front row and sat on her lap for some spooning, but within a few seconds, the (steel) chair legs broke and they went crashing to the floor. Poor thing- nothing like boosting your self-esteem by going to the hunks show and breaking your chair! ((sigh))

Sometimes we joke about how lazy Ryan can be; here's a good example- we were at their place again the other day, and noticed that the couch was turned and angled diagonally across the living room- turns out Ryan didn't want to have to turn his head to watch TV, so he moved the couch and put his special round neck pillow on to help prop him up. Now this special neck pillow is something he bought at the airport in PHX before our flight up here... it basically looks like those huge whiplash braces people wear after a car accident, except with nicer fabric and it's burgundy in color. We all laughed at him, but he's not ashamed and slept all the way to AK. Plus of course, he can watch TV without getting whiplash.

Puppies, Banana Boys and John Lautner

Things have been going great up here this week. After having Sunday and Monday off, we were back to work Tuesday night. While we don't expect a big crowd during the week, we were surprised that we had a pretty full room. Seems like the weeknight crowds are the serious ones, as they can party pretty hard. Michelle, the managing bartender, told us that by the end of the night, she had pretty much "cut-off" the entire room- HAHA! I'll take that as a compliment to the band. If we're there to entertain and sell alcohol, I would say we're doing an excellent job at both!

This weekend will be a little different in the schedule as there are other events going on at Chilkoots. Tonight, a pretty popular Australian band called "Sick Puppies" is playing our stage until about midnight after which we'll finish out the night. On the other stage in another room, the American Hunks male dancers are donning their "banana hammocks" for a Chippendale's type meat-fest (They then will use our stage for earlier shows over the weekend). From what I hear, these guys are the ones who didn't make the Chippendales audition though and are more like the "D-list" strippers. I met one of them the other day when he came by to swap cars with us. He was a bulky meat house with a pony-tail. Nice guy though; his name was Jason! Somehow, I don't imagine I'll be hanging out at this show- I mean I like to see skin as much as anyone, but I don't get the attraction to this type of show...icky.

As an aside, up until the car swap last weekend- we had this giant old two tone blue van which would stall at any given moment- usually in traffic. With a little patience, we could always get it going again, but it was always nervewracking. Not only that, but it smelled on the inside, like wet garbage, dogs and fish. Well, banana boy gave us a nice sporty Ford Focus or something like that- and drove off with big blue (van) to go pick up the rest of the meat dancers at the airport. What I wouldn't give to have a photo of all these baby oilers pushing the stink van down the highway!

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John Launter!

One of the benefits of my trip to Alaska is the fact that my favorite architect, the late John Launter of LA has a house in Anchorage- designed in the late 60's for the Harpels, who had moved to AK from LA. His work is truly space oriented with disregard for historical styles. His homes are unique and exotic; if you saw the movie 'Ironman' recently, Tony's swoopy house was based on Lautners architecture, although it was fictional and designed as a set. His work has been used in other films

I didn't know if I would be able to visit the house or not as I had no connection to the current owners, but I was able to find it's location on Lake Otis in Anchorage via Google Earth and figured I would write a letter to Occupants to asked for a visit. So Monday afternoon, I decided to take a drive over to the house to confirm the address for my letter. Well, just as I pulled up to the house, two women pulled into the driveway on bicycles. I got out of the car and politely asked if they were the owners of the house. One of them kindly answered "Yes, would you like to see it?"- Stunned, I muttered yes, of course, and introduced myself and gave my brief story. It's hard to describe such an amazing building, but here's a photo I found on the web of the living room (I didn't get photos as I wasn't expecting to get in that day!)-



The owners were amazing and generous people- they gave me a quick tour and then let me explore as I wished for as long as I wanted. This certainly was a highlight of my time in Anchorage.